Banish toxic relationships at once, for only love and compassion can bring harmony into our lives
Conflicts in life give rise to painful memories. These memories build our perspectives on life that are based on our good or bad experiences. Once formed, they remain in our subconscious mind, triggering negative emotions.
To transform perspectives from negative to positive, insights have to come from within. External factors must somehow help us overturn our negative thoughts; only then will we change our negative emotions to positive ones.
That is why we need to correct these wrong thinking patterns in childhood, itself. As parents, teachers and philosophers, we have the responsibility to guide an individual through such a phase. But parents are so wrapped up in their own material universe, that they themselves are unable to help their children.
Instead, we pamper and shelter our kids so excessively that they are unable to handle the real world when they grow up into adults.
I have seen parents of young children struggle with everyday issues while raising their children and getting exasperated with the responsibility. Often, they let the grandparents take care of the children as they are busy with their jobs.
Women often have to choose between family and career and their career may take a back seat at some point in their life. Old people, too, need to be taken care of. Thus, we find that at some point or the other, we need to fall back on others and need their support as pillars of strength.
Human beings are social creatures. All of us need support. It is our nature to crave for friendship and positive interactions.
It is thus evident that the better our relationships at home and at the workplace are, the more productive will we be at work. A wise life companion is equally important and can be our inspiration to do better at work and to develop a rounded personality.
Young couples who have just started a family know that they need emotional support. During these Covid times, doctors and police have been able to give their hundred percent to their profession only because there was someone at home to look after the family.
How can one work consciously towards maintaining good relations with people around you? The first and foremost is to acknowledge their presence. You must include everyone around you. If you do not even ask about your maid and rarely enquire about her wellbeing, you haven’t built up a healthy relationship and she will not be emotionally connected with you. Such a person can ditch you at the hour of need and walk out if she finds a more lucrative job.
We need to build trust in all relationships. Trust can be built by supporting someone when they need support and acknowledging their presence. Regular phone calls and even messages help us to keep in touch.
The second vital element which cements a good relationship is transparency and honesty. Our words should be sincere and honest. If you are not in a position to help, then do not make false promises. Appreciation and giving honest advice is equally essential in maintaining good relations.
For instance, at the workplace, we must acknowledge each and everyone’s contribution, including that of the class four staff. They are equally vital to the positive environment at work. Working as a team helps to get work done quickly. Mutual respect and consideration for all team members and respecting the team leader or the boss are vital to the success of a project. Opportunities should be provided to all to exhibit their talents and everyone’s efforts should be applauded. Limelight should fall on all and everyone recognised as contributing members of the team. A strong and just leader acknowledges everyone’s role in the team.
Maintaining good relations in the family at home is equally important and translates into productive results at the workplace. If one is burdened with heavy responsibilities at home, one cannot work efficiently. Therefore, make a habit of distributing work at home. This keeps everyone motivated as well as maintains harmony on the home front. Kids should be taught to take up certain responsibilities at home from an early age. Conflicts should be avoided and everyone’s personal space should be respected. Have open conversations and understand that rigidity and narrowmindedness bring conflict into relationships. Good relations prosper and flourish on a bedrock of broad-mindedness.
Let everyone in the family help with household chores. If one is busy with a difficult project, the other person must chip in and share more responsibilities. Good relations are better maintained this way if one has the ability to understand genuine problems and is able to come up with quick solutions.
To maintain good relations with your in-laws, attend family functions happily and organise Sunday get-togethers. Always be ready to help. If your mother-in-law is taking care of your kids, be gracious enough and thank her for it and make it a point to do things for her―even if it is just routine things like fetching her medicines from the chemist on time or taking her every year for an eye checkup. On the other hand, older parents can oversee studies of the grandchildren and be involved in their routine. Both sides must lend each other support and maintain good relations with each other. This works for the benefit of both.
To err is human, they say. Therefore, we must learn to forgive and not keep grudges hidden in our hearts. It is better instead to talk and clear misunderstandings or question behaviour which is not tolerable in a straightforward way. In this world of cut-throat competition, we need to remember that it is only our family and friends who will support us unconditionally. So caring for them should come naturally to us.
Do away with toxic relationships. If there is no improvement in spite of our best efforts, it is better to let go and move on. Finally without love and compassion, it is not possible to maintain good relations with others.
Seema Saxena is a B.Sc in microbiology, and also a B.Ed. She was brought up and educated in Mumbai. Seema is an avid writer and blogger who writes about practicality and spirituality in life. She is now settled in Jaipur.
Very nice article Seema. It is very relevant in today’s time. In any relationship mutual respect is very important. Recognising each others efforts is a way of being grateful for everyone for making a relationship work.
Each one has to have little more tolerance and acceptance of each other’s short comings too to over come negative emotions by accepting we too can err.
such a wonderful and highly inspiring article . mutual understanding and respect will became good relationship.such a nice message seema.