An animal baby stands on its own feet, within a few minutes of it being born, learns to walk in a couple of hours and begins to survive independently in a couple of months. A human baby takes at least six months before it can even sit independently, a year to walk and more than a couple of decades to live independently. Humans are emotionally and physically weaker than animals, and, therefore, need a lot more time to become independent.
Humans are basically social animals as they are born into a family setup that survives and functions well as a collective unit. They cannot live up to their full potential in isolation. This makes humans very vulnerable, emotionally.
As soon as a baby is born, it cries. This happens to make the brain and the respiratory system to begin functioning. A baby lying safe in the mother’s womb for nine months is scared of being thrown out into the unknown world. The baby cries out of fear of unfamiliar surroundings. As soon as the baby is given to its mother, it stops crying because it goes back into the hands of the person in whose body its human journey began. A new born relates with the heartbeat of the mother and feels secure hearing that heartbeat once again. Mother and child naturally bond with each other. Fathers have to make special effort to find that connect.
After birth, a child is brought up with a lot of parental love and care. After joining school, friendships and new kinds of relationships begin. Teachers also play an important role in the life of any student as they equip the child to be ready for an independent life as a young adult. Many teachers have a very strong impact on the child’s personality. Classmates and fellow students, too, influence each other.
Sometimes bullying happens in schools. Aggressive kids can mentally and physically torture a weak or introverted child. Bullying can scar a child’s mind for ever. We see so many kids become loners or develop an inferiority complex because they are ridiculed or not accepted by other children in the school. All children need a friend to share their thoughts and feelings on various aspects of life. A youngster has many questions. Sometimes they seek answers from friends because they are unable to ask the elders. Every child wants to be accepted and be part of their peer group because the journey of approval, validation and acceptance is part of the social structure of any human society.
Whether a person is successful or a failure everyone has a heart that can feel hurt when criticised or slighted in any way. All humans, whether they seek approval of others or not, get affected by a snide remark or undesirable criticism, though there are differences on the extent of psychological damage such negativity can cause.
I remember how Sachin Tendulkar, even after scoring more than 35 centuries in test cricket and many more in one day matches, was criticised and torn apart if he ever got clean bowled for a low score. He was as vulnerable to criticism as any other newcomer, even though his place in the team was secure. When he bounced back with a brilliant score once again, perhaps it was criticism that made him determined to return to his form. This shows that however secure and confident humans are, they are still vulnerable to criticism, because all are attached to an image that maybe self-created or created by others.
Those who are mentally not strong or not confident of their craft may give in to criticism and lose their confidence. In the age of social media, where anyone can troll and bully anyone with their tweets or posts, it can be hard for those directly targeted.
Of late so many celebrities from the entertainment industry have committed suicide and often depression is cited as the cause of the suicide. Celebrities seek love and adulation from fans. They have to maintain a certain lifestyle and if they run out of work, it becomes hard to maintain that lifestyle and that can take a toll on their mental well-being. Fear of being trolled and ridiculed in social media makes them wary of expressing their fear to anyone.
A TV actress, who committed suicide recently, spoke in a recorded video before her death that most people after someone has committed suicide say, if the person had talked to someone then help would have come. But when people in trouble call their friends and share their problems, they are most often ignored and avoided, she had said in the recording. No one has time for others in the rat race to stardom. Many celebrities become vulnerable because their future is dependent on the success of every show or movie they do.
Even spiritual people are vulnerable to criticism. They can get ridiculed by people who fail to understand them because of their own limited knowledge. All humans are emotionally vulnerable because humans by birth seek love and affection of others. Humans thrive on support and togetherness. That’s why empathy is so important. The vulnerable need it even more.
Let’s support or accept people as they are. Each one has his/her own journey. Let people follow their own path. Share your concern if anything appears amiss, but do not hurt anyone with your words. We can never know others’ perspectives completely till we have walked the same path and have had similar experiences. It is human and kind to show empathy to one’s fellow being.
Nita Agarwal is an ex-Table Tennis State player, qualified teacher, self-taught budding painter, a successful blogger, who writes about her observations of life and people; and most importantly, a working housewife.
Beautifully written, with lot of kindness and from a deep visualization of life.
As a mother you have so sweetly described the growth of a life in mother’s womb and the baby’s dilemma while coming out this beautiful earth.
Nice post Nitaji.
Thanks Manasji for your appreciation and sweet words ??
Empathy is extremely important, especially for those who are a little weak. The strong and heady ones can move on, but constant criticism takes a heavy toll on the weak individual. In fact, it makes them lose their confidence. Your article is a real morale booster.
True Arti.
Beautifully narrated