Getting rid of anger may seem very difficult to you, but if you really and truly want to be anger-free and fear-free, then one small step at a time will help, says DR KAITY CAMA
In today’s fast-moving world, anger is one of the predominant factors that cause impediments in every area of human life ― health, relationships and success in career achievement.
Let us take first the physical causes of anger and irritation. People suffering from high blood pressure and/or diabetes, or those undergoing chronic physical pain do sometimes get “unreasonable” and this also applies to those with glandular/hormonal problems.
Now if we know this about an individual, we can be silently compassionate about his behaviour, and deal with him in a kind, gentle manner. Losing our temper and getting angry with such individuals is futile, both for them as well as for us. Having said this, we now can move on to our own “unreasonableness” when we lose our tempers or foster anger within ourselves.
When do we get angry? Introspection will reveal that anger comes when things are not going the way we want them to go, whether it be in the domestic area or the workplace, or in our relationships. That anger is a product of fear. Fear of losing out on something, fear of facing the truth, even fear of losing the love of someone, fear of losing the “credits” we could gain in our workplace ― anger is always, always and always a product of fear.
Instead of “responding” to any given situation, when we get angry, we are “reacting”, and that reaction is triggered unconsciously by our own invalid beliefs which lead to fear and self-importance.
There are many seminars which talk of Anger Management, and here in this article, the suggestions may be slightly different, though not opposed to the worldly view. We all have to live in this world, and I have found that harmony and a harmonious atmosphere attracts good health, good friends, good relationships and interactions with others, and brings towards us success in career achievement.
One of the easier ways to anger management is Meditation. Meditation done on a daily basis does, very truly, help. As we continue our self-discipline of Meditation, we get more and more insights and realisations where anger has no place. I have also found, however, that not many individuals are predisposed towards a daily Meditation, so am giving below a quick mental technique which helps anger management dramatically.
First of all, get your family doctor to give you a clean bill of health (no high blood pressure, no diabetes).
Then, suppose you have been angry, either silently within yourself, or openly angry with someone, then that very night, before you go to sleep, whilst lying in bed, go over the incident, observing it as if you were watching a movie. Then, re-write the script ― see the incident again, and see yourself responding internally and externally with gentleness and kindness.
If we can relinquish just a little bit of our own self-importance, anger automatically gets less. It is also useful to ask yourself, “What exactly was it that made me angry?” Of course you will get an answer to that. Then ask yourself, “What is my fear and belief about this situation that caused me to be agitated?” If you are honest with yourself, you will get the answer to that too.
Never be afraid of looking at the truth within yourself. And never beat yourself up about an invalid belief or fear. Recognise it, and almost daily, you can use the above mental technique of re-writing the script, and very soon, within a few days, you will find yourself reacting less and responding with love more.
Getting rid of anger may seem very difficult to you at this moment, but if you really and truly want to be anger-free and fear-free, then one small step at a time will help. Establishing harmony within yourself puts you into harmony with the entire Universe, whose forces are then at your disposal. With the help of these forces, you can manage your anger. It will then be possible for you to be happy and healthy in mind, body and spirit.
Dr Kaity Cama made a mark for herself as a healer, clinical hypnotherapist and a Reiki grandmaster.