In a light-hearted reflection on why appreciation matters to everyone, OSWALD PEREIRA explores how a few kind words can uplift spirits, validate effort, and add unexpected joy and power to both personal and professional life
Everyone likes appreciation—it is perhaps the most basic of human desires. From students nervously awaiting a teacher’s nod, to seasoned professionals awaiting approvals, a few kind words have a magical way of making our day. Actors, entrepreneurs, editors, authors—no one is immune. Praise, like good coffee, perks you up beyond measure.
I remember a moment that brought this home to me in a rather delightful way. At a public function, after speaking eloquently about our book Crime Patrol: The Most Thrilling Stories, the well-known actor and anchor Anup Soni returned to his seat next to me on the dais and asked, with almost boyish expectation, “How did I speak?” I replied, “Great.” Instantly, his face lit up. It was a small moment, but it revealed something universal: no matter how accomplished we are, we still look for that reassuring mirror in others’ words.
There’s something deeply human about this. As William James, the father of American psychology, once observed, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” It’s not vanity—it’s validation. Appreciation tells us we are seen, heard, and valued. It transforms effort into meaning.
Even after decades in journalism—as a writer, editor, and observer of life’s countless dramas—I find myself no different. I know, intellectually, that I do a good job. Experience teaches you that much. Yet, when someone pauses to say, “That was well written,” or “Excellent edit,” it adds a layer of satisfaction that self-assessment alone cannot provide. It’s like adding a dash of spice to a well-cooked meal—it was already good, but now it’s memorable.
Mark Twain, with his characteristic wit, famously said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” While exaggerated for humour, there’s a grain of truth in it. A well-timed compliment lingers. It becomes a quiet source of confidence on days when things don’t go quite right.
Of course, appreciation is not just about receiving—it’s equally about giving. We often underestimate how powerful a simple “well done” can be. In workplaces, in classrooms, even at home, appreciation acts as social glue. It builds trust, boosts morale, and encourages people to bring their best selves forward. Dale Carnegie, the master of human relations, put it succinctly: “Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” He understood that appreciation costs nothing but yields immense returns.
And yet, we hesitate. Perhaps we fear sounding insincere, or we assume the other person already knows their worth. But appreciation, to be effective, must be expressed—not merely felt. Unspoken praise is like an unwritten article: it may exist in your mind, but it has no impact on the world.
There is also a gentle irony here. The more experienced and accomplished we become, the more we pretend to outgrow our need for appreciation. But the truth is quite the opposite. With greater effort comes a deeper desire for acknowledgment. The stakes are higher, the expectations greater—and so, the smallest word of praise can feel disproportionately rewarding.
In the end, appreciation is a simple, human exchange. It is not about flattery or exaggeration, but about recognizing effort and celebrating excellence, however small. It reminds us that our work matters, that our voice carries, that our presence is felt.
And if, like me, you find your day brightened by a kind word—even after years of experience—take comfort in knowing you are in very good company. After all, as long as we remain human, we will remain appreciative of appreciation itself.
Oswald Pereira, a senior journalist, has written ten books, including Beyond Autobiography of a Yogi, The Newsroom Mafia, Chaddi Buddies, The Krishna-Christ Connexion, How to Create Miracles in Our Daily Life and Crime Patrol: The Most Thrilling Stories. Oswald is a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda, and practises Kriya Yoga.
More Stories by Oswald Pereira
Some images are AI generated
Just like every transaction carries a natural tendency to be complete, every human communication too, to and fro with the world, carries an innate craving to be complete. The need for this completion is so deeply ingrained in our psyche that we feel a sense of incompleteness when we go unheard and unnoticed, we feel deprived. This deprivation may not be misunderstood as pathological but it is a healthy deprivation which is significantly observed in the very best, most talented of the people around us who are devoted to their vocations in diverse fields of life.
Oswald ji, you have very honestly expressed it in these words:
“The more experienced and accomplished we become, the more we pretend to outgrow our need for appreciation. But the truth is quite the opposite. With greater effort comes a deeper desire for acknowledgment. The stakes are higher, the expectations greater—and so, the smallest word of praise can feel disproportionately rewarding.”
In this context I am reminded of a significant observation by Abraham Maslow as an outcome of his study of the most successful people around us whom we take to be the very best specimen of humanity: He says, inasmuch as we succeed in reaching the innermost layers of our consciousness, verily in same proportion we succeed in reaching out to humanity outside.
And just therein lies the need of a validation, approval or acknowledgement from the outer world which, being in our honest self, we can never pretend to hide.
Thank you Oswald ji, for this beautiful post…feel very privileged to be in your good company 🙏