The Covid-19 pandemic has blown the belief that we humans have control over our lives, showing this to be a big bubble of illusion. We keep wrestling with day-to-day life issues under the false belief that we can get on top of them, but when we fail in our efforts, we only end up making ourselves utterly miserable. 

Following the pandemic, many of us have been seeking solace in social media, venting our feelings, sharing opinions, and trying to find solutions among ourselves. There are two sets of people on social media ― one offers advice and the other listens. All this is fine and gives one a sense of belonging and the feeling that there are people who care ― and that we have friends even if they are only from the virtual world.

For those of you who are feeling low, frustrated, lonely and unwanted, please do remember that there is a lot in life to ponder and consider, which will make you believe in your worth once again. After all it’s our own thoughts that can make our life seem like a battle ground or a beautiful journey.

As a therapist, I get many calls, especially from the students who are stuck in foreign lands. They have not been home since the coronavirus hit the world in January and have no clue when they would be able to travel and meet their loved ones. I always tell them it’s okay to feel low and not every day would be sunny. The gloomy days too shall pass, I reassure them.

Nupur Sandhu

To others who are not in touch with me and may be facing a low phase in their lives, owing to the uncertainty of the pandemic or otherwise, my sincere advice would be, let’s give ourselves one more chance by revisiting our thoughts and addressing them in a new light. Below are eight scenarios that I have created, offering guidelines to address various problems.

1) When you feel your journey is too long and unending

It’s not too late. You aren’t left behind. You’re walking at your pace and you are where you need to be. Every step is necessary. Don’t judge or berate yourself if your journey is long and is taking more time than you had anticipated. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Give yourself credit. And be thankful you made it this far.

2) When you need to have a new outlook

Tomorrow is another day. The days will add up to months and the months to a year. A year or two from now it won’t really matter what brand you wore today, how your hair looked, or what mistakes you have done. What will matter is how you lived, how you loved, and what you learnt along the way. Therefore, what you need is a new outlook towards life.

3) When you can’t get rid of a trail of negative thoughts

The goal is not to get rid of all your negative thoughts and feelings; that’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them.

4) When you are tired of struggling

As you struggle, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from lots of effort and learning, than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

5) When you make a mistake

You can disappoint yourself or people and still be good enough. You can fail and still be smart, capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love and admiration. We all make mistakes sometimes. Take a deep breath. You are allowed to be human.

6) When you need guts to take your next step

Often we waste our time waiting for the best path to appear. But, it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. So, what are you waiting for? Be brave. Take the next step and build your self-confidence.

7) When you need to surrender control

Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to look like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. So, relax. You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. Breathe deep … let go, and just live right now in the moment.

8) When you need to remember the power of love and rekindle your faith

No matter what happens, be good to the people around you. Being good to people is a peaceful way to live, and a beautiful legacy to leave. There may be times when you feel humiliated, when your friend shuts the door on your face, when you long to talk, when things look dark ― but hang on and be around, never lose faith in love and your being. The greatest power you possess is the power of love.

Take a flight.  Just open your wings and fly high. With love and faith in your heart, you will soon soar into the skies of love and happiness.

Nupur Sandhu is a Serenity Surrender therapist, psychologist, film maker and author. As a professional psychologist and therapist, she has worked in Vietnam, Japan, France, Egypt, Dubai and the Philippines. She is founder director of Yayavar Literary Festival.