How does one keep silent, both from the inside and outside? Is it good to keep yourself in ‘quiet’ mode? Many may agree with what I am about to say, but an equal number may disagree. I would love to have you comment on my views about this.

At the start, let me make a distinction between silence and what many perceive as ‘calmness’. Once we understand the difference, it will go a long way in helping us to cure ourselves from within.

A point comes in every person’s life when a situation presents itself in which we learn to deal with it by just keeping quiet. It doesn’t matter whether you are a woman or a man, as problems come to both, in equal measure. In such situations, we learn to keep stress at bay just by literally keeping still in our minds. We think we are handling whatever is bothering us by keeping quiet and soon it becomes second nature within us to remain quiet.

Let’s ask ourselves whether this is the right course of action. We often keep quiet about certain things and events to avoid getting into an argument or an unpleasant situation. These situations can crop up anytime not just with our spouse or partner or a close family member but even at our workplace or with our children. In some cases, one can become so quiet and withdrawn that it begins to affect how one interacts with society. What happens then? Exasperation can build up within such people and the so-called quietness within themselves can become intolerable.

Dr Parul Gupta

So now the question arises whether it is good to vent out and get rid of one’s emotional baggage or let it fester within our minds till negativity grips us? Many people believe that it is good to vent out to find a release for our frustration and anger. Such people believe that they are becoming better versions of themselves and are equipping themselves to deal with the problems confronting them.

However, venting may be a double-edged sword. There are no real studies to tell us whether venting out is actually good or bad. It all depends on an individual’s perception. Some say that venting out doesn’t purge the aggression from within you. Exponents of this theory believe that giving into the habit of venting out at others only increases the anger and aggression within you.

There is, however an opposite view, and that states that venting out aids in releasing and healing your memories of past, traumatic experiences and helps in lowering your blood pressure, improves sleep and lessens symptoms of depression and emotional pain.

Now, comes the real dilemma – should one vent out at what we perceive is unfair and unjust or bear it like a ‘silent soul’? I find this imagery very valid and apt to the point I am trying to make – and that is that one must empty out the dirty water in a pitcher before filling it up with clean water. After all, everyone will agree that it is difficult to pour out clean water from a pitcher that still holds dirty water.

Dear readers, I want you all to share your experiences with me about what I just wrote about. Perhaps, it will help us all to deal with various situations in life in a more logical, more matured manner.  

Dr Parul Gupta holds a Masters in Physiotherapy (orthopaedics) and has ten years’ clinical experience. She believes in self-motivation and is always keen to expand her learning through books, religion and spirituality.

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