March 8, 2020 was observed as International Women’s Day. On that day, we were creating history once again in Viceroy Court Co. Housing Society, Thakur Village, Kandivali (East) in Mumbai. Like the previous year, our domestic helps were being felicitated for a second year in a row for making our lives happy and comfortable with their exemplary services to our homes.

During the event all barriers were broken and we danced and partied together like sisters. Our domestic helps were dressed in fine clothes, making the celebrations a grand, colourful affair.  They literally brought the house down with their stellar performances. Four of them entertained us with solo dance performances and two sang like virtuosos. In 2019, despite it being the first year when such a path-breaking event was held, one of the domestic helps sang in her mother tongue, Marathi, another in Bhojpuri, the highlight being one  with an excellent voice, who sang some hit numbers aided by karaoke. There was more fun with games and prizes and a wide assortment of refreshments.

The author Shashi Dip speaking at the event

In both the years of our celebrations, we couldn’t stop dancing and heaping words of praise on our lifelines, the domestic helps. Our hearts were filled with love; we shed tears of joy and there were hundreds of words of praise and adoration for them. We had gifts galore and each one of us honoured our respective helps with gifts for them, in addition to a common memento to all, to express our deep felt gratitude for their superb services.

The move to felicitate our domestic helps had originated with a thought that had flashed in  my mind two years ago. I could visualise broad smiles on so many faces, otherwise creased with worry about making two ends meet. It was a noble thought and though I was confident about its goodness, sharing it didn’t seem an easy thing to do.

What if my intention was misunderstood and nobody listened to me? I wouldn’t be able to take “no” from people. I needed warm-hearted support of all the ladies from my housing society. One week passed by. I was hesitant to share it with others. Would they judge me and call me a ‘pious’ person, despite me choosing International Women’s Day for the event?

Dancing Together

Since it was not possible for me to do it alone, I had a sincere conversation with God. He bestowed power on me and I shared the thought with few of my most trusted friends. They were so impressed that it instantly boosted my spirit. God was at work. My close friends and I could feel His Grace. We discussed the plan among ourselves and made a team of volunteers, who were like minded. I emphasised the act as selfless, because even a little amount of selfish notions, like seeking self-glorification  for us,  would have spoiled the sanctity of this gesture. 

Soon, I thoughtfully made a draft explaining the plan to post in the main WhatsApp group of our huge housing society. As soon as I posted the notice, one by one so many positive responses started flowing in, offering their support as volunteers. The volunteers expressed their happiness about the plan and I was speechless.

Now everybody was informed, about the task to have this exclusive function to honour our domestic helps. Since most of the members were part of it, we were open to various thoughtful suggestions to make it a memorable day. Many were curious to know what gifts we would present them, the refreshments that would be served and so on. 

Time for gifts

I said: “My sisters, the life of these workers is mostly spent in hardships. On the one hand, they do not always get a peaceful atmosphere and support at home, on the other hand, at the workplace they face discrimination and insecurity. Generally, people do not consider their work to be respectable, as they are considered to be servants instead of workers. Due to this their morale becomes weak. So this event is not just about inviting them to handover some gift and feed them some snacks. Don’t we give them several  things the entire year? We give them old and new saris, we give them old and new bags, blankets, umbrellas, shoes, some home appliances  and what not. Whatever is not useful, people just give away.  It hurts their self-esteem, but they bear it silently believing it to be their fate. We give them food whenever possible or everyday.”

I continued, “So let’s not think they are always hungry or needy for these materialistic things.  What they need is respect and honour, too. So this function is more to gift them our time and treat them with honour. They will wear more vibrant saris and we will wear sober saris. They will play games; they will showcase their talents; they will talk with us not as their employers but as sisters. We have to gift them the ‘feeling of oneness.’ They always feel inferior because of class differences and inequality kills their spirit.”  Everyone understood the essence of the event and that was like half the work done.

The due date for the event was approaching and when it was just one week to go, we shared this loving gesture with our respective domestic helps. Their joy knew no bounds.  They were super excited and so full of love and reverence for all the employers.

Happy Together

After felicitating our domestic helps our mindsets have changed. We have realised that their work is dignified and as important as work done in offices. Employers don’t call their employees servants, isn’t it? Then why do we label them with the tag of servants? It may be difficult to change everyone’s attitude towards them. That would be a long and arduous task. So, it’s our duty to help them upgrade their skills and learn new trades, perhaps change their profession.

Let’s for a change think from their perspective and help them break free of the work that they, their mothers and perhaps their children would also be doing; let’s empower our domestic helps with knowledge and skills to break free from work as domestic helps and take up better jobs  ─ that would make the yearly felicitation that we give our domestic helps more meaningful; paving the way for a celebration of breaking free from the shackles of working as domestic helps for generations.   

All Smiles

I am delighted to share that Viceroy Court Co. Housing Society (VCHS) has formed VCHS Ladies Sadbhavana Team to support our domest helps.  So far in these two years, there’s tremendous progress in their confidence. We guide them how to deal with domestic violence. We often counsel them to ensure their children should not be brought to this work. Since there’s bonding and oneness, between them and us, they feel comfortable sharing their issues. But there’s lot more that needs to be done. I am confident we can do it ─ together.

 Shashi Dip is a thinker, bilingual writer, poet, columnist, social activist and an author of the book ‘Waves Within (Horizon and Beyond)’. She is associated with various literary associations and has written more than 200 blogs, 500 quotes in Hindi/Urdu and English and 100 poems in both Hindi and English.