Divine Grace helped us to stay with our father during his last days at the rest home, despite the restrictions due to Covid-19 and Dad had his favourite grandson holding his hand when he took his last breath, says MELANIE PEGADO

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end…  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness – Lamentations 3:22-23

The past year has been Covid-dominated and it has changed the world.  Besides, the world economy taking a hit, many families are grieving the loss of their loved ones.  For my family it has been a bitter sweet year. While we lost our dad, Neil Almeida, not to Covid-19, but due to another ailment, we were blessed as we could spend time with him during his last days.

A year ago, was the last time my dad could visit and stay the weekend with us in my home in New Zealand, celebrating my birthday.  When he went back to the rest home, he was in isolation for a couple of days, followed by a complete lockdown, which meant we couldn’t even visit him. 

Melanie Pegado

When we did get to see him, we found his level of dementia had gotten worse and he seemed to have a new condition which required hospitalisation. After a few tests, we were told that dad wouldn’t make it.  He had a few weeks, or at best, months before he would meet his Maker.  What followed were weeks of wanting to spend as much time with him as we could. As a family, my sons, daughter-in-law and me would go visit and spend time with him every day. 

Having a brother in India and a sister in Australia made things a bit complicated.  While my brother would definitely not be able to travel, we prayed my sister would make it in time to see dad and spend precious time with him.  My sister and I have always shared a close relationship.  She is not just an older sister, but mother, friend, chief advisor and confidante, all in one. I cannot imagine life without her. 

 She was thrilled when she got a ticket, but when she was about to board the flight to Auckland, she was informed she would not be allowed to do so as she needed special permission to fly.  A saddened woman, she returned home and worked on getting the approval and re-booked for the next week.

The next week she went to the airport only to be told that she needed a medical letter from the hospital my dad was in. This time there was a flood of tears at the airport.  Finally, it was her third attempt to come to New Zealand that was successful. Then she was in quarantine for two weeks after which she was allowed to come live with us.

The author Melanie Pegado’s father Neil Almeida with his grandchildren

The next obstacle we had to get over was the Rest Home asking my sister to quarantine for 21 days rather than the normal 14 days. Heart sinking, I appealed to the manager who was compassionate  and made an allowance where she could visit dad, but with her mask on and the stipulation that she stay two metres away from him for three days. 

We were overjoyed!  Small mercies.  During this period, we prayed for Divine intervention at all times, because we are a close-knit family and the thought that dad might die alone was horrible to say the least. 

The few weeks that we were all together were so special. One day it would be a zoom call where dad could talk with loved ones; other days we would pray together and sing songs.  Dad loved singing.  He continued singing even towards the end. It was so inspiring to see him so joyful, while we were grieving.

As dad started to deteriorate we went into another lockdown. This did throw us into panic and we prayed that God would be merciful and allow us to be there for dad as he started to slip away from us. God honoured our prayers and the amazing staff at the rest home, knowing it was soon to be his end, allowed us in with rules which we were very happy to follow. 

Neil Almeida with his daughters, Melanie (right) and Sharon (centre)

Just to be able to spend time with someone who has been part of your entire life, was a blessing. We were so grateful to God and the staff for letting us be there when dad breathed his last. Dad had his favourite grandson holding his hand when he took his last breath. I will never stop thanking God for this precious time, when so many others have had to grieve without being able to hold the hand or kiss the brow of the ones they loved. 

My father was always there, for not just his family but for friends and strangers too. He taught us to serve rather than be served; to let our words always be kind; to face whatever difficulties came up in life ― and most of all, pray. Always put your trust in God and spend time with Him, dad used to say.

After my dad’s funeral, where only 10 of us could be present, my sister and I were fortunate to have each other for a good six weeks thanks to there being restrictions on travel. There is not a day that goes past without me and my sister messaging or talking to each other; so this was pure joy to spend 10 weeks together, reminiscing about our childhood, our parents and our lives now with children of our own.

Though Covid-19 has affected many adversely, we have been blessed to have had amazing family times together. At times I almost feel guilty that we were blessed, while others were not so lucky.  But this is life. We all have different journeys. 

Melanie Pegado, a mother, sister, friend, and animal lover, lives in New Zealand and works for a spiritual organisation. 

(Featured Image: The author with her father, sister and other extended family members)