My Father: King Of His Own Destiny

My father OM PARKASH POPLI was my hero in his lifetime and will remain my hero for the rest of my life, says RAKESH POPLI in a moving tribute

Losing a father is one of the most traumatic experiences. The bond between a father and child is an everlasting one, which will never fade. Coping with the grief of losing a father is difficult, and you will need the support of your family and friends. Though grief does not take any linear path, you can find your way forward by honouring his memory each and every day. This post is a tribute to my father Om Parkash Popli and my endeavour to honour his memory and to keep alive his life’s ideals.

One of most popular songs of Amitabh Bachchan is:

Rote hue aate hai sab, hansta hua jo jayega

wo muqadar ka sikander, Janeman kahlayega

Everyone arrives crying, but the one who leaves the world laughing will be called the ‘King of Destiny’.

My father truly lived the life of a ‘Muqadar Ka Sikander’ and left the world being that. He lived a very meaningful life, while maintaining very high standards of propriety,  humility, simplicity and sincerity. It was a life meant more for others than for himself.

On December 17, 2021, when I woke up in the morning, it was like any other day, except that I was somehow feeling very exuberant and when I took morning tea to my father’s room, I found him smiling and in a very good mood. I loudly said, ‘Chai Chai, Chaiwala Aa Gaya’. He replied in an equally excited tone: ‘Bhai ek chai de do’ .

Joyfully, we sipped our tea, sharing some happy titbits.

Later, when I went to serve him breakfast at about 10.30 am, I found him sitting on a chair in the front lawn, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun and clapping for extra warmth and energy.

After a few minutes, he opened the lobby door very gently and I found him standing there in a very dazed state. All three of us ― myself, my wife and son rushed towards him and took him in our arms.

But before we could do anything, he breathed his last in our arms at the door itself. We were completely shocked; we had seen him clapping a few moments earlier and now he had gone away for ever in a flash.

I also wondered how he could walk 10-12 steps to the lobby door in that state. Somehow, he must have conserved some energy to see us before taking his last breath. Truly, he left this world as the ‘King of Destiny’, smiling all the way to God in the true spirit of this song.

He earnestly wished to score a century of life, but he fell short by four years and departed at 96 years. We and all of his extended family feel that he has gone too soon.

His life is a story with no easy way out, no short cuts, and no comfort zones. He fought all his life’s battles hard, upfront and without any fear, without circumventing anything. All his life, he turned every situation to his advantage, every problem into an opportunity and always created win-win situations.

He was polite, soft-spoken and humble to the core, yet also very practical and resolute, taking everything in his stride. He created a balance of everything with the eagerness of a child, energy of a youth, maturity of middle age and wisdom of old age. His life story is an unending celebration of life, every day of his life.

Here are some of the situations he found himself in, but came out victorious.

1. He was a survivor of the Indo-Pak partition of 1947, and was almost among the last to cross into India, defying death by a whisker a few times. But he never harboured any bitterness about having to relocate after leaving everything behind.  

2. In his early sixties, he decided to build his own house, but took the unusual step of building it at a lonely spot in the midst of green fields, adjacent to a power house colony. Our entire childhood was spent in total solitude, but it proved to be a blessing in disguise as we had the best of everything ― clean environment, fresh and pure air beneficial for our body and mind. Still we had all the amenities of the city that was close by. We siblings feel very nostalgic about our childhood.

3. He was a state government employee and opted for a touring job related to audit and inspection. Therefore, he was always on the move but used this as an opportunity of mingling with different people and confronting different situations. This enhanced his perception of life and he became very kind and large-hearted.

4.  On his retirement in the early eighties, we thought that he would now lead a relaxed and leisurely life. But to our surprise, he took up a private job and worked there till he turned 75. He reoriented himself for this new job and won the trust of his employer.

5. He faced all the highs and lows of his life stoically, and looked for solutions to his problems. In 2000, my mother passed away with whom he had always shared a super special bond; then, he had to undergo a very critical heart bypass surgery at 79 and when my elder brother passed away in 2016, he surprised all of us by recovering from this personal grief and regaining his poise by standing like a rock behind my brother’s family.

6. It was like he lived two lives in one life. In the first life, he was like a person who remained in the backdrop, keeping a very low profile while doing his work silently and quite diligently, which was hardly ever acknowledged. Then, his second innings started at 75, when he completely changed. He became quite a lively, happy-go-lucky type of person, very outgoing and extrovertish. He made several new friends who were much younger to him when he was in his late eighties and nineties.

I would often joke with him, saying, “Papa a new soul has come into your body.”

He was my hero in his lifetime and will remain my hero for the rest of my life. I feel proud and blessed to have been a son of this great man.

Let me end here with another song:

Behti hawa sa tha woh

Udti patang sa tha woh

Kahan gaya usae dhoondo

He was like a whiff of fresh breeze, like a soaring kite … Where has he gone? Let us search for him….

He has left me with a dilemma. Should I search for him in my memories or let him be. He has merged with the Source, with the Omnipresent. He is present everywhere….

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Featured Image: Left to right, Anubhav Popli, Shali Popli, Om Parkash Popli, Anita Popli, Ankit Popli, Rakesh Popli (the author)

Rakesh Popli, a retired banker and blogger, writes about his observations of life. He lives in Sonipat.